To my readers, my little spices:

I learned how to be a courting woman from my mother. Growing up, I would hear her on the phone with her girlfriends. She would say things like, “Don’t expect a man to rush home, if “home” isn’t a pleasant place for him to be.” or “You gotta be more to your husband than just his housekeeper and cook. When he’s home, talk to him, laugh with him, play a game of cards with him, join him on the sofa from time to time, and share a cocktail with him.” And when I came of age, she would say to me, “Always set standards for yourself. The times might change, but human nature stays the same. A man will always expect a woman to have higher standards than he has for himself.”

I saw Mama as a domestic geisha, a stay-at-home wife, well-versed in the arts; in literature, music, theater, art, and, in keeping house for the man who was keeping her — my dad. My mother wasn’t a subservient stay-at-home wife; she had her own income, coming from the rental properties that she’d owned before she and Daddy married; she had her own opinions (she was well-read) and she wasn’t afraid to voice them. She used her womanly intelligence to craft a comfortable home for my father. She once said, “I let him go out and make the living, and I stay here and make it enjoyable for him to come home.”

Some time ago, a friend said to me, “You can’t be all things to all men, the way a big department store offers a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Instead of rivaling with each other, every woman ought to think of herself as a little boutique. She ought to concentrate on the thing that she does best, and specialize in that.”

I’m happy to share with you much of my own heart in this eclectic little boutique of my ideas and thoughts on womanhood and cooking. To those of you who know me through my dessert cookbooks, Sweets: Soul Food Desserts and Memories (Ten Speed Press, 2003, 2006) and Sweety Pies: An Uncommon Collection of Womanish Observations, with Pie (The Taunton Press, 2007) you know that collecting and sharing recipes that please men, and womanish housekeeping that beckons a man to come straight home from work, are themes I specialize in. It’s just who I am, what I enjoy. I inherited it from Mama.

Many of you, from all walks of life and womanish ideologies, have written to me, asking if I have ideas and thoughts on ways to magnetize — through meals and sensual housekeeping — a man.

I will offer this for now: my mother once said, “Young women today don’t understand the power that’s available to them, right there in their kitchens. They think the only way to hold onto a man is to buy something skimpy from the lingerie shop. I admit, everything that’s required to feed a man can’t be found inside your pantry, but I’m here to tell you, you can save a lot of money if you look there first. ‘Cause what you buy at the lingerie shop, petticoats and brassieres, a man sees all the time. But a nice, little chocolate meringue pie made from scratch? Well, that’s something a man’s not gonna see everywhere.” While I was growing up she would tell me, “There are certain recipes that every woman should have in her files; recipes, that no other woman can beat her cooking.”

While I know (and appreciate) that women are no longer tied to their stoves or vacuum cleaners, I believe many women (even modern women with jobs and careers) are passionately concerned with finding and keeping love. I believe “the home” is still one of the best places for a woman to express herself; her brand, her own little boutique of womanish. So, my goal here, is to share recipes and observations about keeping house…in a womanly kind of way. Just chew the meat and spit out the bones; I’m sure you’ll agree with some of my observations, and disagree with others.

And please, bare with me as I attempt to get this site the way I want it…to look and feel. I’m new to blogging and therefore, learning as I go. If you have suggestions, let me know. I’m a “boutique” in progress, so your comments and observations will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for stopping by. I hope you’ll come back again.

Patty Pinner

Truth told, my cookbooks offer more than just delicious, old-fashioned dessert recipes. Most of the recipe headers offer womanly observations on the technique of a love affair, as well. The books are available for purchase at:


Barnes & Noble


or your local book store

18 responses to “About

  • rosalinda

    appreciate the opening of your boutique. i intend to be a frequent shopper at this very giving site. much to learn and share. please keep writing.

  • Ann

    This is a natural for you! I love reading your observations and advice and look forward to all the “womanish” ideas you have to share. Congratulations, you’re off to a great start! Your friend always, Ann

  • Jocelyn

    Patty, I intend to use this website on a regular basis. Thanks for passing on all the wisdom, of the past generation. I still don’t believe the aggressiveness of the younger generation will get and keep the man. Your website is what’s happening on getting and keeping him…

  • Chari Dodge

    I love your blog! I agree with you and your Mom; men will come right home to the woman who makes his home comfortable. I’ll be visiting your blog every so often to see what’s new. I love your books and your take on life.

  • Lady J

    Patty I LOVE your insight & I appreciate you sharing. Just from reading this I have already learned something new and plan to utilize it. I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog and purchasing a cookbook. You’ve got a fan in me! Be Blessed!

  • Disarming the other Woman… | Relationship Voice

    […] >The Domestic Geisha offers this advice to all the wives and “legal” girlfriends reading this blog…you can’t stop a man from cheating if that’s what he wants to do, but there are certain things that you can do to disarm the other woman’s appeal: 1) Keep yourself and your house looking and smelling good. You don’t know what pleasant looks and sultry aromas your man is encountering out there on a daily basis (at work or in the clubs). 2) Be “present” in yalls relationship. When he’s home,laugh with him, talk to him, play a game of cards with him. Sit beside him on the sofa, and share a cocktail with him. 3) Give him space. Don’t forsake getting together with your “girls”. Join clubs or organizations that will give you something to do, and somewhere to go. Show him attention, but don’t smother him. Let him wonder where YOU are, sometimes. […]

  • Robin

    Patty….love your dessert books. I have always been a good baker, and was thrilled to find them. My problem is cooking the meals. Do you have any help or advice for the girls who bake beautiful cakes and pies but don’t cook so good? You gotta make a man happy enough to stay for dessert right? LOL

  • Robin

    Patty – I love biscuits – love love love them. They, are truly an example of cooking as an art. You either have the talent to make beautiful biscuits – or you have the talent to create hockey pucks. My biscuits are currently the official pucks of the NHL. You mentioned your aunt made biscuits…did you learn to make them from her? Could you do a blog talk about how to make biscuits the way they should be made? I would be so grateful for anything you can share…..maybe others can learn as well. I would love to pick your brain about all the things you learned from your aunt. Thank you.

    • pattypinner

      Robin, like you, I’m always looking for ways to better my cooking. What I know for sure, is that good cooking requires quality ingredients, utensils, and cooking vessels. Understanding basic cooking techniques (basics of grilling and broiling, basics of roasting, basics of deep-frying, basics of sauteing, basics of stir-frying, and the basics of cooking in liquids-stewing, braising, par-boiling,is essentail to good cooking, as well.

      My belief is that every woman should have at least ten dishes that no other woman can beat her cooking. This comes with practice.


      • pattypinner

        I’m not much of a biscuit maker.
        Cooks.Com has a wonderful article on biscuit
        making, under the title: How To Make Good


  • Robin

    Great, thanks for the advice and the website recommendation.

    Patty, do you have any plans to do a home cooking cookbook in the future? From reading about your family and neighborhood, it seems like you would have plenty of sources to tap into for good home cooking. You write beautifully, and you make it personal. I would love to read any book you write that talks about a relative’s perfect greens, or to find out who makes the best fried chicken in Saginaw or Mississippi. I am sure I am not alone. I have read Paula Deen, and Trisha Yearwood, etc…but they didn’t speak to me the way your books do. You have the something special they’re missing.
    I am from up north – and have been to the south – and they just don’t make food that good up here. The closest we have to southern cooking is Cracker Barrel….LOLOL
    Take care.

    • pattypinner

      Thank you so much, Robin. I mean it! thank you
      so much.

      Actually, I am putting together a book of savory
      recipes from my childhood.

      What about you?…do you write? have asperations
      of putting together a collection of your family’s

      • Robin

        I am so glad to hear you are doing another cookbook. That is the best news. I can’t wait to read it.

        As for me, I like to write, just haven’t found my place in it yet. Some day – but I am in no hurry. My family is not a cooking family like yours….they pretty much do enough to get by. It’s not bad cooking…it’s just not “write a cookbook” cooking, and I certainly don’t have enough stories to make it interesting. LOLOL

        I want to learn how to cook better. My love for southern food and my interest in how to make it myself is what’s driving me.

  • De

    I just purchased your SWEETS …. cookb ook. I really enjoy it and have quite a few recipes Im looking forward to trying. What is the best way to contact you regarding a recipe in your book? Im looking forward to your savory cook book! Thanks for your response.

  • deanie814

    I love, love love this blog. Although I feel fortunate to be a professional woman who really enjoys going to work and making my “own”, from time to time I feel the urge to explore another side of me. I have your books and now I have found your blog. I adore “listening” to your stories and wisdom. Please don’t stop! All the very best to you….

  • Chanel

    Hello Patty,
    I recently purchased your sweets cookbook and I have fallen completely in love with your stories. They are so RICH. There is something mighty special about this book. I haven’t made any recipes but I can’t wait to bake something. Keep spreading joy around the world. Contact me so I can get you to Dallas.

  • Sherry Hannah

    Hello Patty,
    Congratulations on a wonderful idea. Keep it up girl!

  • melanie daponte

    Patty!! It’s so great to stumble across your blog today! I read your family food memoir Sweets, many years ago and it inspired me to start writing my own food memories. I have been making notes for years now and just recently decided to start a blog with my writings. The timing is incredible–I just picked up a copy of your book from the library the other day– to review it once again for inspiration.

    Thank you for doing what you do and inspiring others with your writing 🙂

    Chef Melanie

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